Deep 3

Next self-exploration topic:


3. Describe your relationship with your parents.




My parents are wonderful. They are vastly different from one another, and balance each other out in their parenting styles. Mom was always the comforter & the peace-maker. If my heart was hurting and I just needed sympathy, Mom was the best. Dad was more of the builder & strengthener. If I needed to hear the hard truth with no sugar-coating, he was there to give the bad news in life, but never in a harsh or ugly way. It was always given in an Aesop Fable kind of way: what can you learn from this? What is the moral of the story? How can you change your actions or expectations to make it better the next time?


Mom wants to make the world a wonderful place for her kids. Dad wants to teach us how to make the best out of the world we are faced with. Here's an example of that... After my freshman year of college, I had counted on my parents coming to help me move out of my dorm. I just knew that they would be coming to help me cart all my stuff down the 3 flights of the stairs and then load it into my car. I kinda fiddled around with boxes and packing that morning, and when Mom wasn't there when she said she should be, I called... Dad had instructed her not to come. And he wouldn't be coming either. There was no need for her to take a day off work to come help me do what I could do myself. I was livid at the time. And my feelings were extremely hurt, too. Why would he leave me stranded like that?? Why on earth did I deserve that kind of treatment?? I was forced to figure out how to move all of my stuff and get every bit of it packed into my car because I certainly couldn't make 2 trips to move. It had to be done at once. I cried. I cursed. I was pissed off. And it drove me to get it done. And I did it. And I did a damn good job. And I would have NEVER figured out how to do that on my own if he hadn't have made Mom stay at work that day. It was necessarily the nicest way to teach me a lesson in independence, but it's what it took to get through to me. And it worked. 


My Dad has made me tough, independent, inventive, a fighter, and a demander of exactly what I want & deserve. My Mom has made me compassionate, giving, tolerant, and forgiving. They are both very big parts of me. And they are my best friends. I am 35 years old, and the thing I am looking most forward to this year is getting to go on vacation again with my parents for the 3rd year in a row. I cherish those weeks I get to spend with them. I miss them terribly. I wish I lived closer to them. And that speaks louder about my relationship with my parents than any words I could put down in print can.