just thinking out loud

I am truly trying to find my 'quiet'. It's been almost 1 year since my break-up with my ex-boyfriend of 10 years, and I still have not been blessed with any other relationships. I have had fun, and gone on several dates, but nothing has ever come of any of it. And while I am a very independent person, it is difficult for me to be a solitary person. So while I look for my next love, I try to find my tranquility within and work on loving myself more. I realize it's something I need to do for my own health... physically, mentally, and emotionally. And maybe that's why this span of time has not come to an end yet. Maybe I am meant to continue my self-work for a while longer. I try to convince myself that all things happen in their destined time. But that doesn't override my innate impatience. LOL

All I really want is someone who wants to take care of me & my needs the same way that I desire to take care of them & their needs. I want to be a fulfilling force in someone's life... and have the same for myself. That sounds a little greedy when I put it into words. Surely though, after all I have endured the past 11 years, I am deserving of some fulfillment.

I'm not looking for pity or encouragement, I swear. I just needed to vent a little, and release these feelings so they would stop consuming me. One day at a time, and soon enough, I'll be able to look back and laugh at my silly melancholy.